♥♥ Happy Birthday DS ♥♥

Dear God,

It's my DS's 11th birthday. Time flies so fast really. Not too long ago he was just a baby, and then a toddler who loved to tag along with me, like my little shadow, everywhere I go in the house. Today he is all grown up, and prefers to sit in front of the computer screen.

I have become the (inevitable) Invisible Mom to my 11 year old. Often times I feel sad seeing my boy grow up, and having to form a world of his own. More and more I am less needed and asked help from. I wish I could be the perfect Mom --- the Proverbs 31 woman to him. I miss the younger years he spent with me in my arms all day, when our world was filled with just stories to tell, laughter, and tickles everywhere. It seems as though every moment is not enough to fill the days with love and togetherness.

I remember 22 grueling hours in the labor room to wait for his coming. Times have changed so much now, and I feel so alone. I miss my little DS so much because he's a grown boy now...

I read this poem from Alice Gray's compiled "Stories for a Mom's Heart", and it just like speaks about some lost time and lots of moments I want to bring back ---

TO MY (not so) GROWN - UP SON

My hands were busy through the day;
I didn't have much time to play
The little games you asked me to---
I didn't have much time for you.
I'd wash your clothes; I'd sew and cook;
But when you'd bring your picture book
And ask me please to share your fun,
I'd say: "A little later, son."
I'd tuck you in all safe at night,
And hear your prayers, turn out the light,
Then tip-toe softly to the door...
I wish I'd stayed a minute more.
For life is short, and years rush past...
A little boy grows up so fast.
No longer is he at your side,
His precious secrets to confide.
The picture books are put away;
There are no children's games to play.
No goodnight kiss, no prayers to hear---
That all belongs to yesteryear.
My hands once busy, now are still,
The days are long and hard to fill.
I wish I might go back and do
The little things you asked me to.

The most glorious sight
that one ever sees beneath the stars
is the sight of worthy motherhood.
George W. Truett

Opening My Arms To Others

Dear God,

Sometimes I'm kind of feeling guilty or feeling sorry for myself... Feelings like I am such a dope and a complete failure take over me. But when I pause and truly think about why I am complaining or griping, I realize that I have much to be thankful for. There are so many people around me who really need a listening ear or a warm hug.

Oftentimes Lord, it's my DS and my DD who need my motherly, compassionate arms. It is sometimes hard to reach out to others; that includes both the kids, because somehow I feel so vulnerable, so easy to get bruised. I am afraid I might say or do the wrong thing. But I know that You want me to reach out and extend myself to the hurting individuals of this world, and I know that You will show me what to do.

Please God, help me to never turn down a golden opportunity to offer compassion to tired individuals around me, especially to my children.

Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.
1 Peter 3:8

God's Rewards

Dear God,

You have given me two great rewards... I know that my DS and my DD belong to You, and they are a loan of love from above. I need to treat them in that way, Lord... Along with the blessed privilege of being their Mom, You have given me the challenging responsibility of teaching both of them the guidelines and precepts that You have established in Your word.

Please help me not to squander and waste that great opportunity. I want to honor You by taking care of the wonderful rewards that You've given me. I want to nurture DS and DD both physically and spiritually. My desire is that other people would realize that I give You back all the glory with these kids, and would help them realize their dreams which You have (long ago even before they born) planned for them. Please continue to bless my DS and DD, Lord. Thank You for all Your cares.

Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from him.
Psalm 127:3

Quiet Times

Dear God,

Sometimes, when I'm cleaning up and putting everything in order, the kids (and even DH) are in the other room making an even bigger mess, and I want to scream. I sometimes do, Lord... I know You can see, and I know it makes You frown at me, because my reaction makes the situation even worse. DS and DD get worked up, and I get more upset and frustrated. Lord, please help me to be calm as I deal with domestic frustrations like so, and please help me to remember that a quiet, calming response will get better and greater results...

I should know from experience. When I make a mess of things and foul up with something, You speak gently through Your word and through the Holy Spirit. You know well that I would like that better than a screaming, shouting, belittling voice. Lord, please always remind me that my family would prefer that as well.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 15:1

♥♥ Like Showers On New Grass ♥♥

Dear God,

Thank You because today is my birthday. As always, I'm feeling nostalgic, just like past birthdays of yesteryears... Sometimes I wonder how life would be if I chose a different path. If I listened to You more closely, and allowed You to lead me Your way...

Will You bless me this time, Lord, just as You have blessed Jabez long ago?

I have closed the gates of my other blog site of four years, and am starting out this new one for You on my special day -- To voice out my deepeest, innermost thoughts and cherished dreams, to rekindle my on and off love affair with You, and to never lose contact with You again...

Thank You, for putting up with all my tantrums, idiosyncrasies, histrionics and dramatics in life. I am simply Your work of art isn't it, fearfully and wonderfully made, and You can't deny it! :)

Today, I pray for nothing but Your abundant, rich, and wonderful blessings. Please also grant me the strength, the courage, and the patience to face all that I have to tackle each day: Family, other people, difficult situations, insurmountable challenges and even my very own complicated self.

Let Your teaching fall on me like rain, and Your words descend on me like dew, like showers on new grass, like abundant rain on tender plants.